When I learned I was having a boy, I wasn’t exactly overjoyed. Mostly because I wanted a girl – who hasn’t dreamed of playing dress up with their mini me?! But also because I had this hesitation to bring another male into the world who may contribute to some of the outrage women are feeling now, have felt for years, and may continue to feel.
Here I am, with the most beautiful son I could have prayed for, perfectly made in God’s image and I can’t help but hope and believe he was created for Better. I know now that I am blessed to have the opportunity, along with his father, to contribute to the new generation of men who will strive for better, who will do better, who will be better.
For so long we (and I use we in very lose terms) have done such a disservice to humanity by raising girls and allowing boys to pretty much raise themselves. Recently, I got into a discussion about how boys may or may not be fundamentally different from girls (biologically and behaviorally). If there in fact is a difference, but those differences are not equally nurtured and molded by both parents, to compliment each other, then where is the balance in that? where is the unison in that? where is the equity in that?
So, as a mother, as one-half of my son’s earthly guide, my job is to try, to the best of my abilities, ensure that my son reaches adulthood unscathed with as minimal contact with trauma as is possible (because who am I kidding, in this day he is bound to run into some). It is my job to ensure that he grows to be a well rounded adult with discipline, drive, and determination, and a strong will. And yet fully equipped with the necessary tools to handle others and their needs with compassion and a sense of care. To grow with a love that is felt with all of his senses, his mind, his heart and is shown with his word, by his actions, and through his reactions.
It is my job to expose him to a diversity of cultures, and thoughts so he cultivates a habit of welcoming difference even when he may not agree. To welcome change when it is necessary and vehemently voice his concerns when it opposes the good of people, the set of values he holds and most importantly, his humanity. To allow him the opportunity to experience all his emotions and his feelings, realizing that they are valued in their vast variety. To ensure that he is able to explore those feelings inwardly or outwardly, vocally or not, in a manner that is healthy, not destructive, and in a way that he has found to be most comfortable for him.
My job is to create a space for him to be all the man that he was created to be. To be a light, an advocate, an equal.