Daycare Was Not For Me

During my pregnancy with Gabriel, I was looking forward to being a daycare mom. Retaining my regular 8:30 to 5:00 job meant having someone else watch my kid. Daycare was the option we chose for three reasons – it was as cheap as cheap could get, we liked the idea of having multiple people in the room for accountability and safety reasons; and Gabriel was going to have other kids to interact with which we thought was important. 

I did my research and I got the gist of how daycare was going to be. There were things I didn’t like but I told my self it couldn’t be that bad. Thousands of other mothers take their children to daycare. If they can do it, I can too. 

Boy was I wrong.

Every time I picked Gabriel up from daycare, and he looked sad and exhausted, like he had a terrible day, my heart broke in little pieces. I gave myself a little pep talk, toughened up, and took him back the next day. Every time I picked him up with snot dripping down his nose, his eyes red from crying, I fumed on the inside because no one had bothered to wipe his nose and pick him up to comfort him a little bit. I womaned up and took him back the next day. Every time we were up all night because he had caught another cold, was congested and coughing up a storm, I told myself it was fine. Children are stronger than they look, he’ll get past it.

However, on November 10, 2018, 9 months in to this constant cycle of guilt, false reassurance, I decided I had enough. On our drive back from Gabriel’s 4th doctor’s appointment that month, many MANY colds and three ear infections in, I decided  we were done with daycare. For now. Ignoring my instincts to put on a tough act was no longer worth it. I wanted a happy and healthy baby. Nearly everyday, I felt guilty for putting my needs over his. And I was, putting my needs over his, because I thoroughly enjoyed time away from him. He is A LOT 😂. These were (are) his formative months and I needed to protect him, give him his best chance at being strong & healthy, and well behaved. So I did it! I shook off my pride, bit the bullet and withdrew him from daycare.

I don’t know how other mothers do it and cudos to you because I imagine you must be having a though time too, or not. Bottom line is, you are strong. This mom could absolutely not. It was rough seeing his tiny body be so sick and sad. It was rough not trusting that they had his best interest at heart and constantly doubting that they were actually taking care of him. It was just rough.

Daycare was not for me. Maybe we will try it again, when he is older with a stronger immune system, can thrive on one nap a day… or maybe we will just wait till I can afford a stay at home nanny 😂😂

Mommas (dads), do you take your kids to daycare? How was your experience? How did you overcome some of these cons? 

Ladies (guys), if you plan on having kids, will you take your kids to daycare? What are some of your expectations? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section or shoot me an email. I would love to hear from you ❤️

XoXo

S.E 

Disclaimer: I understand that all day-cares are not the same. I am writing from my personal experience with the daycare we attended. I also know that there is not much a daycare can do to prevent sicknesses with all the kids and teachers that interact with each other. This, however, does not change the fact that in the end it did not work for me. I’m sure my personality and past events may have also played into my heightened sense of discomfort. I know there are various other options for child care, we considered them all. This was our best at this time.  

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6 Comments

  1. By God’s grace, I am moving to either Boston, Chicago or Houston when I’m ready to have kids.

    This way my kids will be at ONE of the four British International Schools in the US.

    Nursery starts at 2yrs old and they have “daycare” services.

    1. Ooh never heard of them. Just looked them up and they have really good reviews… hmmm, I’m not that far from D.C, I just might migrate there😂

  2. Oh my goodness I’ve been battling this thoughts for a month now. Each time I go for a tour at any daycare center, I find one fault or the other. I guess I was just overprotective and scared coz the first time I toured one daycare I saw a baby crying like she was neglected. I have a cry baby that likes attention and I don’t know how I’ll feel isif that was my son. I’ll just wait till he’s strong and ready. No matter how good a daycare is I won’t still trust them 💯

    1. Omg! Yes, just wait until you are ready. He might be ready; i’m sure he’ll be fine and adjust, they always do. But if you, as the mother, are not ready, you will constantly battle unrelenting guilt that won’t be worth it.
      I rushed back to work (after only a month) because I wanted to feel like that “BOSS MOM” who can hold down a career while being a mom. It was the worst decision I could have made and I suffered for it. Take your time girl, he’ll only be this age once! Love ya <3

  3. This puts me in laughing bouts because that’s what happened with you!!Case of like mother like son? That sad, exhausted look just kills a mom slowly. But then Nigerian Moms always helped so we took you out of there fast and my mom stepped in. Of course I had to choose staying home after that. Makes for better happier kids.

    1. OMG! The worse feeling!
      Yeah, actually I found that many grandmothers here help too, especially if they don’t have jobs. We do what we can, right?

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